'I still don't feel like doing Parayana'.
After all the 'gyan' I put in my previous posts, we usually come back to the above refrain. That is, I am a repeat, repeat re-exam candidate. I am growing old and still in college like our beloved film actors. Actually in spiritual education, I am still in Kindergarten. So what do we do?
Ammagaru comes to our rescue again and suggested that at any time, even if we do not feel like doing parayana, we may feel like doing other acitivities like japam or bhajan. So we should do those. Eventually, we will feel like doing Parayana again. Or else we can sit and reflect on our readings so far. That would be 'mananan' which is good. Or else we can just sit and gaze at Baba's or Master's photo. That is also 'dhyanam'. If we do not want to do any of the above then it does not bode well for our state of mind/spiritual life.
As Mastergaru has explained and Babugaru elaborated, the problem is in our state of mind. We obviously want to do Parayana (because we are stating our problem) but we don't feel like doing it!!! It is very much like all our other problems in life. We want to be healthy and look great, of course one needs to exercise for that, but naturally, we don't feel like doing it. We even part with our hard earned money to gyms and dietitians to 'make us do it'. Many people pay money to pujaris and temples to perform their worship for them in absentia.
Now this is where Ammagaru says we need to curb that trend of mind. Are we willing to pay for our movie tickets and enjoy our movies in absentia? Or our very precious (i.e.holy) holidays? So that kind of logic is unextendable. It is merely laziness. Therefore our daily, every minute, all- pervading, contagious laziness is a far greater malaise than corrupt politicians. And in this case, mere talk won't suffice.
If our mind rebels strongly again parayana (perhaps parental influence led you to start it etc), you can even leave it off. With time - it may take years- we begin to want what we experienced while we did parayana and will definitely come to take it up ourselves again. This is the experience of many who started parayana years ago and my experience too.